When your relationships keep disappointing you, it’s easy to blame the other person. You think “if only he would…” or “why can’t she…”. You start believing you haven’t met the “right” person yet, or that things would be better if you just ended the relationship and started over again.
But here’s the truth: starting over won’t solve anything. In fact, you’ll probably have the same problem again… just with a different person. You’ll date another man who is afraid to commit, or pulls away when you get close, or never shares his feelings.
You’ll marry another woman who can’t manage stress, or talks too much, or can’t hold down a job, or is an emotionally immature drama queen.
And the reason is this: whenever you are waiting for something “out there” to change in order for you to be happy, you’ll be waiting forever. None of your problems are caused by the other person.
Absolutely none of them.
The Problem Isn’t “Out There” – It’s “In Here”
As long as you keep pointing the finger at someone else, you’ll keep struggling in love. You may get the commitment-phobe to marry you, but then he’ll be lazy, or inconsiderate, or a cheat.
Your workaholic partner may take a sabbatical, but then you’ll find something else to fight about.
Any pattern you see in your life… any fight you have again and again… any jerk you date over and over… any woman who takes you for granted… any fear or problem or disappointment…
All of these things start with YOU. They come from fears and unconscious beliefs and emotions that are secretly running your life.
And until you learn how to spot them, and control them, and turn them from unconscious habits into conscious choices, you cannot make a permanent change.
They won’t let you. They’ll pop up again, and hide in the guise of a charming liar, or a nagging siren. They’ll show up when you get angry about unemptied dishwashers and unwashed children.
They will run your life… unless you don’t let them.
But here’s the good news:
Because The Problem Is “In Here”… So Is The Solution!
It might feel daunting and depressing to think that the problems you’ve been experiencing in love aren’t “out there” but “in here.” It’s easy to start beating yourself up and feeling overwhelmed and sad.
But the truth is, this is the most uplifting news of all:
It also means that the solution is also IN HERE! The solutions are right inside you!
All it takes is consciously stepping out of the habitual behaviors and mental programming that have been running your life on autopilot until now.
Once you do, you will be able to create a relationship that lasts and deepens over time, and you will also feel happier and more fulfilled in your own life than you’ve ever been.
The moment you shine a light of awareness on how you are creating a specific problem in your life is also the moment that you open up the ability to generate new ways to solve it. In that moment, you are interrupting your autopilot response. You are disengaging the usual way you react that simply perpetuates a problem.
Here’s why this is especially powerful: when you shift from blaming something or someone else for a problem, you suddenly become motivated to DO something about it – because you can! And when you start seeing yourself as the creator of everything that happens in your life – good and bad – everything changes. This simple shift in mindset and attitude can move mountains in your life.
We have personally witnessed thousands of individuals transform their lives once they were armed with this knowledge, and you can, too.
Dissolve Your Pain And Discover Easy, Lasting Love
The way you react to problems in your life has become habitual. In order to break your autopilot reactions, you need new tools to create new and positive habits.
How do you know if you’ve fallen into the victim trap and allowed something other than your own creative power to direct the course of your life? Think about how often you think or say something like, “Why is love so hard?” or “How come other people seem to have it so easy?”
Thoughts like this indicate that you’ve lost touch with your innate ability to design your life.
There is no reason to let what’s “in here” run your life any longer. You have the power to create a wonderfully fulfilling, joyfully intimate relationship, and it starts with making the conscious choice to change.
We are here to guide you through those changes. And we can’t wait to see what you create.
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