Want to help your relationship go the distance? According to one relationship expert, it’s all about asking the right questions.
TikToker Sabrina Flores has shared a series of videos all about the different ‘healthy relationship checkpoints’ couples should engage with.
These checkpoints take the shape of questions and conversation starters all designed to help you and your partner connect more effectively, and learn important things about how you each see the world.
In one clip, Sabrina, a social media coordinator at relationship wellness app Agapé, suggests some questions:
‘What area of your relationship can you foresee becoming a potential conflict in the future and why? After sharing compassionately, reflect on a couple of things you can do to prevent it from escalating to that point.’
She adds: ‘So many relationships wait until something is explosive until they address it and start working on it. And that’s why they broke up.
‘Don’t be one of those couples.’
In part two of her series, she suggests another question: ‘What aspects or parts of your personality are currently causing any friction in your relationship?’
A tricky one – but don’t even think about being diplomatic, as Sabrina says you can’t answer, ‘nothing’.
Why? ‘Because I know there’s going to be at least one thing for each of you,’ she says.
And it works both ways: ‘Are there any behaviors that you do that are causing friction in your relationship?’ she says.
‘Call yourself out, hold yourself accountable, and work on it before it leads to bigger problems.’
Her questions are provided by the app she works on, which generates a conversation starter each day, with a view to stopping relationship problems before they start.
In part three, in which she recommends asking your partner ‘when, if ever, is it OK to lie?’, Sabrina clarifies: ‘A disclaimer first – you’re probably going to have different answers to this question and that’s OK.
‘The goal is not to start an argument right now, the goal is to see where you guys differ and come to a compromise, so later on it doesn’t become a bigger issue.’